I read somewhere that heartbreak is real for only the first ten minutes and than after that you’re just whining.  There’s a certain truth in there, though I think it’s a little longer than ten minutes.

This is a roundabout way of explaining why I’ve been so bad at making posts on this site since we’ve started.  I promised at the beginning that I was going to do two posts a week in addition to the page we would add.  To put it bluntly I’ve sucked at keeping my word here.  I did warn that I was going to fall off the wagon and miss more than a post here and there, but I also did promise I was going to try my best to accomplish this goal.  I think I’ve done four posts so far and one of those was actually done before the first page was ever put down, so no I haven’t done a very good job at posting.

The reason for the posts are twofold.  One is to add some background to the story, to the creation, to explain a little of the whys and whats of what we’re doing here with Ayla Speaker for the Dead.  The second is to give you some background on us, the creators, mainly me since I’m the one writing this, and let you in on what drives me, what I’m about to some extent.  Not to get People magazine gossipy but to personalize the creator behind this series.  I’ve always been a sucker for this type of stuff.  I want to know more about the people that create my favorite things.

So this is where I explain a little without falling too far into the side of things where I don’t want to talk about.  There have to be some lines.

About the time Ayla started, a little after she was up and running, I ended a relationship I was in.  I say I but in truth it was she.  I’m not going to lay blame, she decided she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore and while I keep trying to find clues to what lead up to it, I will admit that I’m not the easier person in the world to get along with.  I am very set in my ways and have an opinion on just about anything and usually am not shy about giving you what that opinion is.  So we can say it ended.

And to be honest I didn’t take it well.  There were no drunken nights trying to forget or anything along those lines.  But there were many a day where my mind refused to think about much else.  Than there were the days when I thought I was doing good to only get lost in my thoughts again.  It’s made writing difficult, whenever I would sit down and try to write my mind went in other directions.  I continued to post the pages, but I’ve ignored the posting.  I’ve missed a few other writing assignments along the way.

But I’m making this last month my first ten minutes.  It’s time to move past it as much as I can and continue on and not let it drag me down.  I’ve went back and forth on writing this post, I want to share a lot with you, but I don’t want to overshare either.  I’m hoping I managed to walk a line here and not sound like woe is me, yet I wanted to try and explain some of what I’ve been experiencing the last month.  I’m going to try and move forward, while I don’t promise miracles, I’m hoping that some sort of regular posting besides the pages will start now.


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